


Between Two Lungs

by PrettyRacing



Category: The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU of season 4, Age Difference, Age Gap Romance, Beth is a teenager, Beth knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it, Daryl is just here to be BFF, F/M, Hershel kind of approves, Maggie does not approve, May/December Relationship, family planning without consent, much different take on the character Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-05 15:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12192897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyRacing/pseuds/PrettyRacing
Summary: You step outside, you risk your life. You take a drink of water, you risk your life. And nowadays you breathe, and you risk your life. Every moment now you don’t have a choice. The only thing you can choose is what you’re risking it for.Hershel Greene- A Rick/Beth take on season four.





	1. The Prison

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net April 25, 2015. Edited September 2017. 
> 
> Sex, huge age difference, unbeta-ed.

**The Prison**

The bright, hot Georgia sun beat down on her neck and shoulders, but Beth enjoyed the feeling of being outside in the yard. She pulled Judith’s sun hat—an adorable floppy hat with panda ears that Daryl had found—down to make sure the child’s cheeks weren’t getting too red as they walked towards Rick and Carl tilling the yard. This was a daily ritual for Beth and Judith, bringing water to Rick midmorning, after the early morning chores had been completed. Nowadays, with the prison full of people and her dating Zach, she didn’t get much Rick-ogling time. This morning Rick was wearing a grey button up work shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Beth shared a secret smile with Judith. Rick’s forearms, all darkly tanned and veins straining while he worked, was one of her favorite Rick features, along with his blue eyes, slightly curling hair and salt and pepper stubble. 

Beth had been ‘dating’ Zach for little over two months now, Zach made her laugh and was a lot of fun but he was no Rick. She really liked Zach but couldn’t bear to extinguish the secret torch she carried for Rick that dated back to their winter on the move.

Carl noticed her first and waved, which caught Rick’s attention. Carl had probably been waiting for her, eager for the quick break her arrival usually heralded.

“How’s our girl doin’ this mornin’?” Rick asked with a slight grin. Beth’s heart did a small somersault at ‘our girl’. Rick was most likely referring to his and Carl’s girl, but Beth let herself have a moment to think that Rick meant that Judith belonged to Beth too.

-

“Do you ever wanna have kids?” Beth asked. She didn’t dare turn to look at Zach’s face, instead she continued looking up at the stars. But Beth could imagine his expression based on that snort. It was an hour after sunset, she and Zach were perched on one of the picnic tables outside the cellblock. 

“Kids? Isn’t that suicide nowadays?” He asked, “And that’s not even bringing up that I’m way too young to be a dad.” Beth frowned at Zach’s laugh and he continued talking, “plus a baby is guaranteed walker bait. How do you get kids to keep quiet while there’s walkers prowlin’ about?”

“The prison is safe, those walkers out there” Beth gestured to the omnipresent walkers snarling out of view “aren’t at our gates ‘cause Judith cries occasionally. And seeing how everyone’s life expectancy has been drastically reduced, we’re hardly too young. Plus it’s not suicide. Risky, sure, but suicide? Lori was an exception, she had a ton of complications, she was in her 30s and she had Carl by C-section. People have been givin’ birth long before medicine and doctors.” Beth argued.

Zach seemed to realize then that this was a real conversation and not a jest of some sort. “Do you want kids?”

“Of course,” Beth scoffed. She had always wanted to have a baby, start her own family, now more than ever with most of her family gone. “Someday. We’re safe here, there’s already plenty of kids stayin’ alive and livin’ right here.”

Zach tugged on the end of her braid to get Beth to face him before replying seriously, “If you want kids I’ll give you kids. I’d do anything for you, Bethy.”

Zach was nice, he made her laugh, he was good addition to their group, and even her daddy liked—well, didn’t hate—him. She tried to picture kids with him, him holding a small bundle in his arms, but the vision seemed slightly off. Tthe following morning when she paused to stare at the small case of green and white pills that Maggie made sure she and her little sister stayed stocked up on, she shook her head and popped the pill in her mouth.

-

The day Judith started crawling was the day Beth decided she was going to have a baby of her own now, not sometime in the distant future. She decided that this was what was worth fighting and living for.

For the past two weeks Judith had been rocking on her legs and arms with a great look of concentration on her face. Carol had said it would be any day now and Beth wanted to be the first to see her crawl, wanted it to be to her that Judith crawled to. It was midafternoon and hot, Beth had Judith in the middle of a yellow baby blanket on the cool cement floor inside cell block C, Carl and Patrick were scheming something at the table behind her and Carol was humming as she sorted laundry that some of the Woodberry women had washed. Judith had a look of great concentration on her face and then she just rocketed off.

Beth shrieked, partly delighted and partly shocked at how fast the baby moved. It was only about four paces before Judith collapsed right at Beth’s knee. Carl and Patrick were by her side in an instant. Beth started laughing and picked Judith up in her arms to give her a raspberry on her covered belly, which Judith loved. “Did you see?” Beth asked breathlessly with a huge smile, “She’s so fast!”

Carl and Patrick demanded a repeat performance, and Beth was glad to see Carl looking gleeful about something not involving killing, so she repositioned Judith in the middle of the blanket. Judith looked at her audience for a moment, Carol joined them as well, hovering over Beth’s right shoulder, and Judith took off again. Only three paces this time and it was to Carl’s knees. He looked excited. “She’ll be outrunning walkers in no time!” He laughed, tickling his baby sister’s belly.

“Time to start baby proofin’” Rick’s voice came from the entrance. Beth looked up to see him leaning against the bars, his hair damp and wearing clean clothes, and he had a small smile on his lips that made Beth even happier and made her heart rate speed up.

“Baby proofin’ a prison” Carol laughed, “who’d ever thought?”

Twenty minutes passed with Rick, Carl, Patrick, Carol and Beth all cooing over Judith and seeing how far she could crawl before Carl and Patrick drifted away, outside to run around, Carl feeling more kid-like than normal, inspired by his baby sister. Carol had left to help out with dinner not long after. Soon it was just Rick and Beth leaning against the wall, Rick had his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles and Beth sat cross legged next to him with Judith in front of her. She had quickly learned how to turn but only right and was, quite adorably, scooting in a circle babbling happily. Beth looked up at Rick, feeling the best she had in a long time: optimistic, triumphant, and content. It seemed the most natural move in the world when Rick leaned over and kissed her. It was soft, gentle, just a press of lips against each other but Beth thought it was the best kiss she’d ever had. Rick pulled back hesitantly and Beth could feel her cheeks heating up.

“Beth—“ Rick was interrupted by noise in the communal area. They were out of sight but a moment later Carl was ushering Daryl and Hershel in to show off Lil’ Ass-kicker’s new moves. Rick was back against the wall with an easy expression on his face and Beth wasn’t even sure it had really happened except her lips were tingling slightly.

No one paid any attention to her red face or stuttering heart, thankfully, and as she watched Daryl grinning over Judith’s accomplishment Beth knew that this was what she wanted. This was the life she wanted to fight for and she was going to get it. She wanted her own baby with Rick’s clear blue eyes and Beth’s smile, who would call her ‘mama’ not ‘Bethy’ (more like ‘baba’ but Beth was certain it was her name that Judith babbled), and she wanted her own family, she wanted a baby, and she wanted that baby with Rick and to spend the rest of her life living for moments like this.

-

It was a day and half before Beth was able to be alone with Rick again. Well, Judith was there too but the baby was unlikely to go babbling to Carol or someone about this conversation. Carl was stuck inside doing math problems with the other kids. He grumbled about what good math was in this walker filled world but didn’t like that some of the younger kids were better than him at something, so when Beth noticed him with the other kids this morning she just about dashed to get Judith and start their morning walk. Hershel gave her a questioning glance at her apparent urgency but she quickly blew him off with a wave and bright smile.

Rick had earphones in this morning since he was by himself and Beth took a few moments to admire his lean physique. Thankfully none of them were as skinny as they were before the prison but Rick had a certain wiry figure that always seemed feral to her despite his best attempts to hide it with his current ‘farmer Rick’ persona. Rick must have seen her out of his peripheral vision because he didn’t seemed startled when he finally turned to her and pulled out the ear buds.

“Morning!” She greeted with a bright smile and turned to Judith, “say good morning, Juju.” 

“Ga da!” Judith happily responded. Beth turned back to see Rick smile and shake his head and she mentally congratulated herself for not being awkward and Rick seemed relaxed. Rick took a deep pull from the canteen that Beth handed him and Beth glanced around. She could tell someone was up in the watchtower and she knew there were a few people up by the prison but the slope of the yard and the tall crops kept them out of sight. 

“Beth… I want to apologize for the other day.” Beth turned back to face Rick, the surprise obvious on her face. She hadn’t expected Rick to be the first to talk about it. She figured he was just pretending nothing ever happened. This meant he was thinking about the kiss… right?  
“Rick, you’ve got nuthin’ to apologize for,” Beth replied firmly. 

Rick shook his head before answering, “Yes I do. It’s only been a few weeks since Zach… and it was right selfish of me to kiss you.”

Beth blinked in surprise. She had prepared arguments in response to her being too young and it being too soon after Lori but too soon after Zach? Beth instantly felt guilty before shaking herself free of it. “Zach was great, and I’m grateful that I got to know him and be a part of his life but…” Beth bit her bottom lip and looked at the ground, this wasn’t how she planned this at all. “There’s no use being sad, I liked him and now he’s gone. I’ll try my best to remember the good times. It’s not like I lost…” Beth trailed off again, she had been about to say Lori. Well, wasn’t this turning into a train wreck? 

“I admire your positive outlook,” Rick responded. And now it felt awkward. Beth mentally groaned in frustration. “No hat for Judy this morning?” Rick’s tone was still light but Beth still cringed. She glanced down at Judith, who has happily munching on a fist full of Beth’s blonde hair and staring at the fence and the snarling walkers. Her floppy hat was still in the prison; Beth had been too eager to talk to Rick alone and hadn’t grabbed it in her haste. 

Beth sighed. Could this be going any worse? Might as well just go for it, Beth thought determinedly before straightening up as best as she could with a baby on her hip and looked Rick straight in the eye. “Why’d you kiss me?” 

Rick looked down and started to fidget and Beth was a tiny bit glad she broke his calm. “I don’ rightly know… it just… felt right.” Beth’s heart began to beat faster but she remained calm as Rick sustained his stare at the ground and he continued, “Carl was smilin’ and Judith was gigglin’, and you looked so beautiful and I finally felt… at peace.” He finally looked up at her, his gaze clear and unashamed and Beth took a gamble. 

Rick was taller than her but the ground held a slight slope and he was slouching against the hoe’s handle so Beth only had a bit to rise to land a solid kiss on his lips. His lips were dry but salty from sweating and warm and there was only a slight beat of Rick not reacting before Beth felt his hand land in her hair and pull her into a deeper kiss. Beth was breathless when they parted and her face broke into an uncontrollable smile. 

Rick’s expression was firm, “I still don’ think this is a good idea. I’m still not… back right yet.” Rick stumbled a bit, hesitant to give a name to his mental break. 

Beth shook her head firmly. “You said you finally felt at peace the other day. Maybe… maybe I can help you stay at peace.” Rick’s eyes filled with longing, like he wanted to believe her but was still hesitant. “We’ll do this slow. And no one has to know, except lil’ Juju.” Beth glanced down at Judith, her big eyes were staring up at them with a curious expression on her face. Beth could see some pink on her cheeks and turned back to Rick. “We’ll take it slow,” she nodded one last time and turned her back to Rick and started to walk back to the prison. Rick didn’t stop her, he didn’t say anything, but most importantly, he didn’t say no. 

-

Beth just about wept tears of joy the next time she and Rick were alone together the next evening. The walkers at the fence had been gaining in numbers so she and Rick, along with several others, had spent extra time at the fence clearing. It was dusk when the group called it quits and the walkers were finally down to a few wanderers by the tree line. Beth took a bit longer in the showers than she normally did as she felt grimier than usual and she was the last to leave the girls’ shower. Maggie had asked if she wanted to walk back together and Beth waved her on. 

She didn’t have any ulterior motives; she figured Rick would need another day or two before approaching him again but when she exited into the hallway outside the bathrooms Rick was leaning up against the wall waiting for her. Beth’s heart instantly sped up to a staccato, was he here to tell her no? 

They stared at each other for a brief moment before Rick gave her a small smile and offered his hand to her. Beth gave him a very bright smile as she accepted. “Slow, right?” Rick confirmed and Beth nodded affirmatively, afraid if she spoke she’d sound like a fourteen year old schoolgirl squealing over a boy band. 

They walked back slowly, not speaking but the silence was comfortable. They were both freshly showered and wearing clean clothes and Beth was so happy with how normal everything felt. Rick stopped just out of sight from cell block C’s communal area and Beth turned to face him curiously. He leaned down to kiss her and Beth melted into him. This was the first kiss they shared with any passion and Beth was quickly lost in the sensation of it. Both of her hands tangled into his hair and Rick pressed her firmly against the cement wall. One of his hands was in her hair and the other on her hip, modestly, and his tongue explored her mouth inquisitively. 

It was only a few minutes before Rick pulled away. They were both breathing heavily and Rick pressed his forehead against hers. Beth studied his rugged face while his eyes were closed. His face had more lines than it did back when they first met on her daddy’s farm, but he was still very attractive, and Beth preferred him with his longer hair and unruly stubble. Rick’s eyes opened and studied her intently before pulling back and straightening himself out. She gave him another happy smile and they both continued on into the cell block. This was a thousand times better than Beth thought it would be and she felt a giddiness that she hadn’t felt with Zach or Jimmy. 

-

Hershel had always known about Beth’s admiration of Rick, the months before the prison the group had no secrets and even though no one ever said anything on the topic, it had been obvious to most of them that Beth admired Rick just like Carl admired Beth. Beth’s looks didn’t go away after they settled in the prison. Hershel had a talk with Carl but didn’t have the heart to have a talk with Beth. And after Lori died and Rick lost himself Hershel figured Beth’s crush would wane. It didn’t. But Hershel never worried. After the Woodbury folks joined the prison and Zach joined the community Hershel thought Beth’s feelings had cooled but there was a moment or two he’d catch Beth giving Rick a look filled with longing. That’s when he began to worry. And a few weeks after Zach’s passing, Hershel had been watching his daughter closely as he didn’t want any suicidal relapses, he noticed something that made his blood boil. Rick was looking back. 

Hershel was largely responsible for Rick’s new outlook. Rick stayed away from violence and ruling and threw himself into farming all to help his son. Hershel was so proud of Rick trying to be the best father to Carl and Judith and recovering from his breakdown. The first time he saw Rick looking content was during a farming lesson with him and Carl, Beth was observing with Judith in her arms. Hershel had been so proud of Rick in those moments; he loved Rick like a son. 

Hershel met Rick in between the prison yard and the cultivated land. Rick and Carl were both dirty and sweaty from working all morning in the hot son. “Carl I want to speak with your dad for a moment.” Carl nodded and trotted off, eager to clean up. Rick had a small frown on his face, “What’s goin’ on?” He asked. 

“You tell me,” Hershel could tell Rick had no idea what he was referring to so he elaborated, “What’s going on between you and my daughter?” He purposely didn’t say Beth’s name but he could tell that Rick now knew exactly what he was talking about now. 

“Nothin’ is goin’ on,” Rick’s gaze was clear, but he shifted on his feet a bit and Hershel frowned. 

“Don’t you lie to me Rick, something is going on.”

Rick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “All righ’, there’s somethin’ but it’s hardly any thang. I just, I like spending time around her. It’s … peaceful.” 

Hershel felt his ire die down. He cared about his daughters more than anything else, but he did care for Rick. Rick protected Hershel’s family like it was his own. During those long months when food was scarce, winter was settling in and they were constantly on the move Hershel had worried about the group fracturing, that he and Beth, perhaps Carol, would be left behind but Rick had never faltered. This man protected them all, there had been a few close calls but Rick had never hesitated in pulling Beth out of danger or risking himself when someone of the group was surrounded. Rick was strong and his influence was clearly felt on T-Dog, Daryl and even Glenn, they tried their best to emulate Rick’s attitude. When Rick unraveled after Lori’s death it was heartbreaking. And now, seven months later, Rick having moments of peace, Hershel didn’t have the heart to take that away from the weary man.

“Rick, she’s my baby girl,” Hershel’s voice was calmer this time. 

Rick nodded, “I know. I would never do anythin’ to hurt her. And if you say so, I’ll leave her be.”

Hershel knew Rick would give up a chance at happiness for the group, he had put the group’s needs before his own several times previously. Hershel glanced around while Rick stared steadily at the ground awaiting Hershel’s judgment, he saw Beth near the grill with Carol, she was watching them curiously. Hershel thought back to the first night on the road after the farm, how everyone was whispering about splitting, no one had faith in Rick except for him and Daryl. He remembered Daryl asking Carol what she wanted and Carol replying about honor, and Daryl giving them all a look like they were fools because who had more honor than Rick? Hershel wanted his little girl happy with a good man, sure he’d prefer that man be younger, without the burden and guilt that was obvious in Rick, but that was a near impossible find in their current world. Who would be better than Rick at keeping his little girl safe? At giving her whatever she wanted? Glenn was already a blessed find for Maggie. “That’s not necessary… I just want to hear you say you care about my little girl and you’ll make her happy and keep her safe.” 

Rick nodded again, “I do. I’ll do everything I can Hershel. Everything.” And Hershel could see the conviction in Rick’s eyes. 

-

Beth was impatient. She knew she shouldn’t be, that she should be grateful for Rick even giving her a chance at this relationship but she was determined in her goal. Besides, the pills that Maggie had found months ago were close to expiring and she knew that if Rick found out he’d insist on some other form of birth control. If she wanted her plan to work, sex had to come before that. She knew what she was doing was wrong, herds of feminists were rolling over in their graves, but she knew that there was no way Rick would ever agree to trying for kids, or at least it could possibly take years to convince him. And life was too short nowadays for that. It would be far easier to pretend it was an accidental pregnancy. It had been two weeks since Rick first kissed her and she had stopped taking the pill the same day. She had left the packet of pills out in the open of her cell a few times, she knew Rick had observed it. Every day she would pop one out of the package and grind it into the dirt in the yard.

She and Rick were still on the ‘slow’ path. The most they had done was make out with some hesitant over-the-clothes groping on Rick’s part during their stolen moments. Two days ago she had observed her father and Rick talking and she had been instantly filled with fear that her daddy had figured them out and was telling Rick to stay away from her. But Rick didn’t, and she was not about to bring up the incident to find out what they did talk about, and since her daddy hadn’t said anything to her either she figured it hadn’t been about them. 

Last night she heard Rick telling Carl he could sleep in and stay out of the fields. Rick was only doing maintenance on the crops, there was no reason to have two people in the field so Beth had woken up extra early, most of the prison didn’t get as early of a start as Rick did. She prepared everything last night and had scrubbed herself as clean as she was likely to get. She slipped on the cutest bra and underwear she had, they were lacey and pale pink, and slipped on a blue wrap dress that she had only worn once for Maggie and Glenn’s wedding. Barely anyone wore dresses or skirts so she knew if she was seen whoever it was would be suspicious. She had a pack with a blanket and an outfit to change into afterwards. She brushed her hair one last time and studied herself in the mirror before nodding resolutely. “You got this,” she told her reflection before grabbing the pack and her boots, slipping out of the cell block as quietly as possible. Rick had left about ten minutes before her, right as the sky began to brighten. 

She slipped her boots on when she reached outside and took a deep breath to regain her confidence before marching towards the fields. Michonne was out on one of her hunting trips so the small, two stall stable was empty and that was where Beth had planned for this to go down. No one from the watch tower would be able to see into the stalls and as long as they were quiet no one would hear them. 

Rick was standing at the edge of the crops watching the sunrise brighten the sky with a calm expression on his face when Beth sidled up to him. “You’re up early,” he commented with a smile. “What’s in the pack?” He asked as he turned to face her. His gaze seemed stuck to her unconventional outfit, a knee length, wrap dress was highly impractical, especially outside. 

Beth glanced up at the watch tower, but she didn’t see anyone watching them so she grabbed Rick’s hand and led him past the pig enclosure to the stable with a coy smile. Rick followed willingly, curious to this bold gesture, and when they were fully out of sight in a stall Beth turned to face him. He watched her in amusement as she pulled a blanket out and laid it out on the grass and dirt and step out of her boots onto the blanket. Beth had mucked the stall herself the day after Michonne left on her run. Beth could tell he hadn’t caught on to the full extent of what she was planning. That changed quickly when Beth untied the bow holding her dress together and opened it showing off her pink lingerie against her clean skin. Rick’s eyes darkened immediately but he didn’t move. 

“Rick, I know we agreed on slow, but please,” She softened her face and gave him a wide eyed look. She could see his resolve cracking. “Please. I want this. I want you.” And Rick gave in. 

He drew Beth into a kiss first, all open mouths and wet and Beth shivered in anticipation. She had only ever had sex with Zach, who’d always kept things playful, but Rick with his firm grip and belly tingling kisses was leagues better so far. Rick pushed her dress fully off her shoulders to puddle at her feet and then his confident hands were tugging her down to the blanket. Beth lay back willingly and reached up to the buttons on his shirt but was quickly distracted from her task as Rick’s hands slid under her. There was no fumbling as he unhooked her bra, he boldly took each of her nipples in his mouth in turn and worried them until she bit down on his shoulder to keep herself quiet. He moved smoothly as he slipped a hand into her panties, wetting a finger in her arousal and circling her clit with just enough pressure to make her strain for more. Soon Rick had two fingers inside her and he was leaving a trail of open mouth kisses right along the edge of her panties. 

Beth felt herself getting close, already, Rick was too intent and relentless. She was the one that initiated this encounter, had wanted things to move faster but now all she wanted was for Rick to slow down. Beth tugged on Rick’s curls to get his attention, “Rick, stop. I want you inside me.”

Rick shook his head, his pupils were blown wide. “I won’t last... It’s been too long. Let me make you come and then I want to be inside of you.”

Beth couldn’t say no to Rick’s request so she nodded and he was as good as his word, naturally. Between his fingers and his bold tongue thrusting inside her and his other hand holding down her hip, she was bucking helplessly against his onslaught, she came so hard that a scream caught in the back of her throat, she bit her own hand to keep quiet, and her whole body felt as if it’s about to shake into pieces. Zach certainly never did that before with his mouth and Beth was immensely glad she scrubbed herself clean last night.

“Do you have a condom in that bag?” Rick asked, his voice was low and husky in her ear and Beth almost didn’t process the actual words as she was still lost in a pleasure-filled haze. 

“We don’t need it,” Beth answered breathlessly. She realized then that he was still in his jeans and started to remedy the situation but only got them past his hips. 

Rick was trailing kisses over her neck but he paused at her words. “Beth--” 

“Maggie hasn’t gotten pregnant and she and I take the same pills.” Beth interrupted. 

“You sure?” Rick asked, his husky tone very serious. He stared into her eyes and Beth pushed down any lingering guilt, she couldn’t let any of it show, and held his steady gaze. 

“I’m sure,” Beth emphasized her point by hooking her leg over Rick’s hip and pulling him flush. They both gasped at the contact. 

He didn’t enter her right away, he spent a few moments just kissing her and she wrapped her shaky arms around his neck to keep him close. He then parted her folds and sunk into her, he pulled back and pushed in inch by inch until he was buried deep inside of her, stretching her, filling her. Beth thought that it was the most perfect sensation in the world. He then worked up a steady rhythm, he was braced on one arm and the other moved her pelvis to a different angle and Beth gasped at the wonderful overstimulation. She didn’t come again, Rick didn’t lie about it being too long and Beth was too glad that he hadn’t had any casual hook ups between her and Lori to complain. He pulsed inside her, his body hung over hers and his face screwed up in tense rapture and Beth smiled at the beautiful sight. He sunk down on her and Beth enjoyed the heavy weight of him pressing into her before he shifted onto his side. 

“So much for takin’ it slow,” Rick chuckles and Beth can’t keep the triumphant smile off her face. 

-

Beth floated on Cloud Nine for the rest of the day. She performed all her chores with a smile and humming a tune and Carol had to snap her out of a daydream three separate times. Later in the afternoon she was mending one of Maggie’s tops at a table in the communal area completely unaware of her surroundings and her mind was vividly remembering how Rick’s rough hands felt against her skin when her daddy’s voice broke through. “So he makes you happy?”

Beth started with a gasp, her father was sitting right next to her, she hadn’t heard him approach on his crutches nor settle on the bench and she flushed in embarrassment before even processing his question. “What-what’re you talking about?” She quickly glanced around but didn’t see anyone in earshot. 

“Rick.” Beth froze in shock. Had he seen something? How could he possibly know? “Rick promised me that he’d do everything in his power to make you happy. Now I certainly don’t want to know what he’s doing, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you look this happy.” 

Now Beth was really confused, “Rick promised what? You know? You know that we’re ... together?” 

“Together? The other day he suggested that you two weren’t very serious yet.” 

Beth quickly began to backpedal, she did not want her daddy knowing the extent of her relationship with Rick, not yet anyways. “Well, we’re not, or weren’t, we’re taking things slow,” or at least we were until I seduced him, Beth sure wasn’t sharing that. She couldn’t believe her daddy was so calm about this. She really couldn’t believe her daddy and Rick had talked about this. But then again, Beth had been expecting a lot more resistance this morning but perhaps after a talk with her father Rick was less hesitant about their relationship. It made sense. “So you gave your blessing to Rick?” Beth asked in a hopeful tone. 

“I wouldn’t say that. We talked is all. I won’t stand in the way of your happiness, Lord knows there isn’t much happiness left in the world now, but I sure don’t want to see you two cavortin’ around together. All I wanted from him was to know that he’d do anything to make you happy.” Beth wondered briefly if her daddy would be so adamant about her happiness when he learned what exactly she was trying to get from Rick but quickly smothered that thought down as she hugged her daddy. 

-

Privacy and secrecy were both difficult things to obtain in the prison. Privacy hadn’t been too hard when she was dating Zach, but then again she and Zach never tried to hide the fact that they were together so if the two were alone together it didn’t draw attention and people tended to leave them be. 

So it wasn’t until after dinner, three days later, that Beth and Rick were able to be alone together again. 

Beth was getting irritable as time went on and during dinner, they were eating outside in a big group and almost all the prison residents were there, she entertained a brief fantasy of how everyone would react if she marched around the table to Rick and just planted a big ol’ sloppy kiss on him. Daddy already knew, but he would be angry with the public display in front of him, especially while he was eating. She figured Maggie would be angry, she still saw Beth as a child and would no doubt think Rick was taking advantage of Beth when in reality it was the opposite, but then again Maggie was the one who gave Beth birth control pills before she and Zach had even talked about having sex. Glenn would probably get nervous and take Maggie’s side even though he and Rick were pretty good friends. Daryl probably wouldn’t even blink. Michonne neither. Carol would no doubt pull her aside and give her a motherly lecture of some sort. Most of the others wouldn’t care, maybe be a bit scandalized or probably jealous that an eighteen year old was the one that finally snared Rick Grimes. Beth had definitely overheard a few of the women gossiping about Rick over the months. Carl was probably the biggest obstacle, and his reaction could be anything. He could shrug and blow them off with an eye roll, he could be mad because he used to have a crush on Beth, but that seemed to have gone away months ago, or he could rage at his dad for trying to replace Lori, which Beth knew wasn’t true. Rick liked her because he felt at peace and could relax when he was with her, and he certainly never felt that way with Lori. Every moment between the two, even before Lori knew she was pregnant on the farm, had seemed tense and stressful. 

After dinner Rick volunteered to help with the dishes, much to the delight of the two Woodbury women that were on dish duty with Beth that night. Beth shot the two older women a nasty glare, they didn’t notice but Rick did and looked amused, which only made Beth more irritated. The two other women, Annie and Katherine, happily gushed to Rick about how adorable Judith is and what she had gotten into early that day now that she was mobile. Rick humored them with polite smiles and laughs and Beth couldn’t help feeling jealous. 

The dishes didn’t take long and soon the four separated, Annie and Katherine were thankfully not in cell block C and as soon as they split ways inside the prison Rick tugged Beth into a niche in the hallway. Normally Beth hated being in the hallways of the prison, they were dark and sound echoed strangely but then Rick was pressing here against cool concrete and leaving a string of kisses from behind her ear to the corner of her lips and then he was properly kissing her, tongue sliding sensually along her upper lip and Beth whimpered. 

“You’ve been glaring at everyone all night, is it weird that I thought it was cute?” Rick asked when they parted. 

“Annie couldn’t stop fluttering her eyes at you all night. It was appalling.” Beth huffed. 

Rick laughed, and oh Rick’s laugh sounded so good to Beth, “I didn’t notice. I was only lookin’ at you.” Beth started smiling uncontrollably. “Now, where the hell do people always sneak off ta be alone together? ‘Cause I can’t figure it out.” 

“What, you don’t want to snuggle up with me and the pigs outside again?” Beth teased. 

“I don’t share,” Rick’s voice was low and husky and Beth shivered in anticipation. She was craving Rick’s touch like an addict and the whole experience was new to her. 

“Well, some couples sneak down to the boiler room—“ Beth stopped as Rick stiffened and Beth mentally cursed herself. Way to suggest having one off in the room that Lori died in not to mention his mental breakdown. “—But it’s dark and kinda scary down there, so that’s out.” Beth finished lightly. “Hey, when were you gonna tell me that you and my daddy talked about us?” Beth quickly changed the subject. 

“Well, the last time we were alone you weren’t much for talkin’,” Rick answered with a grin, “Miss ‘let’s take it slow’.” 

Beth blushed bright red, that had been her boldest moment in the history of her life, she hadn’t said a single word to him until she was almost naked. “Yeah, well, you turned out to be pretty easy,” Beth teased. 

Rick nodded, “Well, I promised your daddy that I’d do anything to make you happy so I was just doin’ what your daddy wanted.” 

Beth burst out laughing even though she was horrified but Rick’s triumphant grin was well worth her embarrassment. “Let’s go investigate the library. If no one’s in there we can get in a quickie.” 

“A quickie? Did Beth Greene just say ‘quickie’?” Rick shook his head. 

“Yeah, you want one or not?” Beth challenged with a grin. 

The Library was empty. Rick led her between the shelves and looked around with a frown. “People really come up here for this? I’m not laying you down on this floor, so where…” Rick trailed off as he turned to face Beth and realized she was already pulling down her jeans and hopping out of her boots. Once again he was surprised by her eagerness. “Well all right then.” 

He knew they didn’t have much time so he dropped to his knees, placed a soft kiss on her belly as he pulled down her blue panties and dove right in. Beth was unprepared for Rick to be doing that again, she squeaked and grabbed onto Rick’s shoulders for support. Weren’t guys supposed to hate doing this? But she sure wasn’t going to complain as Rick stroked her with his tongue. 

Rick only spent a few minutes loving her with his mouth, just enough to get her wet and ready and then he stood up and unbuckled his belt and jeans. Beth clung to his shoulders and pulled him against her so they were both propped up by the shelf behind her. The shelf was against the wall so she didn’t worry about putting so much weight against it. And then Rick was in her. She was tight at first, even though this was again initiated by her they were moving at Rick’s relentless pace and soon she was mewling uncontrollably and Rick hoisted her up a bit more, encouraged her to wrap her legs around his hips and after the new angle Beth quickly lost it. She turned boneless in Rick’s arms as she shuddered through her powerful orgasm and Rick faltered for a moment before taking up a faster, harder pace. He spilled in her moments later and they slowly sank to the floor. 

Rick adjusted her so she was in his lap and when he started to pull out she cramped around him, inside and out. “Not yet.” She whispered. She just wanted to enjoy the moment, they were so close and Beth cherished the feeling of Rick so physically close to her. Rick leaned down to kiss her in response. They spent several minutes just kissing slowly, sliding lips and tongues against each other, and Beth didn’t feel the slightest tinge of guilt this time. 

-

Beth was late. She tried not to be too excited, that would surely show everyone something was up. After all, most of the prison was still recovering from the deadly illness that ravaged their ranks and she herself had only been out of quarantine a full day. There had been a lot of deaths, mostly the Woodbury folk, and Beth tried her best to appear somber and mournful. Plus, she had no way to be sure. She was officially two weeks late, and considering their living situation it was normal for women to be irregular, she had been in the past. But then she would think about Rick’s track record, both times he got Lori pregnant were unintentional (Lori’s first pregnancy Beth had heard about back before the prison and Lori told Carol about it one night). It had been about five weeks since their first sexual encounter and there had certainly been enough repeat performances that one of them had to have stuck. Plus, she had only been on the pill since she started seeing Zach, hardly enough time for her body to get used to it, she hoped. But then she would think about the taboo subject of Judith’s parentage… and then Beth would scold herself and try to find a chore to keep her occupied. 

She had hardly seen Rick since the quarantine and they hadn’t had a moment alone since before. Last she saw he was in an intense discussion with Daryl which she assumed was about Carol’s absence. But she was really looking for her father. Last anyone saw him he was with Michonne but nobody had seen either of them since that morning. Beth huffed and threw herself down on her bunk. She finally worked up the nerve to talk to daddy and tell him she thought she might be pregnant so he could request a pregnancy test in the next run. She knew he was going to be furious, especially when he told her he didn’t want to know or see their relationship. But she had proof that they had been careful, or at least proof that Rick thought they were being careful. 

Beth was interrupted from her musings by a terrifying, thundering boom and the walls shaking around her.

-


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding Sophia had been a duty to Rick, he felt responsible for the girl’s disappearance. This was different, he needed to find Beth, he had been teetering on the edge of an abyss full of guilt and self-destruction before Beth and she had made him feel again. Not just the need to live, to protect his own, but to laugh, to feel pleasure in life. He was going to find Beth, and if she was hurt in any way he would wreak vengeance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on ff.net. Edited September 2017.
> 
> Sex, huge age difference, unbeta-ed.

**Aftermath**

Beth stared at the jar of moonshine sitting in front of her. She was the biggest fool on the planet, she was sure of it. What was she thinking all those weeks ago? Why did she think that the prison would last, that she could raise a family there? Nothing lasted, not anymore. Not only had the safety of the prison community failed but she personally had failed. She wanted to be a mother but who was she kidding? She was a failure. With Rick facing off with the Governor and Carol missing, Judith should have been her only priority. Instead she had gotten swept up in the panic and confusion and by the time she went looking for the baby someone else had taken her. Judith should have been Beth’s responsibility and she lost her. 

“What? You suddenly not thirsty?” Daryl growled. He stood a few paces away from her watching her with a frown. Something about this crappy, redneck den of a house had Daryl on edge more than usual. 

Beth glanced between him and the glass a few times before speaking, “I think I might be pregnant.” It was no use keeping it a secret, Daryl deserved to know what a liability she had become. 

“What?” Daryl snatched the mason jar out of her hands before she could blink. 

“I haven’t taken a test or nothin’, but I’m pretty sure.” Beth responded quietly. 

“What the hell? Rick said you guys were bein’ safe,” Daryl started pacing beside the table she still sat at. 

Beth looked up at Daryl in confusion, “you knew about me and Rick?”

“‘Course I knew about you and Rick. He tells--told me everythin’.” Daryl snarled. He looked like a cornered cat that wanted to lash out at something. Beth’s eyes prick at the past tense correction. If anyone was a survivor, it was Rick. But he had been right at the fence when the tank rolled through and there had been so many walkers... “And if you think you’re knocked up, why did we traipse around all day lookin’ for alcohol?” Daryl ended his question with smashing the jar of moonshine against the wall. 

Beth cringed, the destruction loosened something in her. “‘Cause it’s all my fault,” Beth cried as she finally broke down, “I was selfish. I got too comfy, I thought the prison was safe, I didn’t think about the Governor still out there, and all I wanted was to start the family I’ve always wanted. I didn’t just lie to Rick, I deceived him, I showed him the pills I was taking but really I just threw one away every day because I wanted my own baby so bad and then the attack... and daddy... and Rick... and I lost Judith!” By the end of Beth’s rant tears were streaming down her cheeks and she slid off the chair to sink to the floor. “Someone else grabbed her and who knows what's happenin’ to her. She was my responsibility.”

“Shit,” Daryl sighed. Beth couldn’t see him but she could tell he stopped pacing. “I thought you didn’ cry no more,” Daryl’s tone was gruff and awkward. The poor guy was awful with big emotional displays. 

Beth wiped at her face and nose and tried in vain to calm her choked sobs. “I’m a fool,” she whispered. 

Daryl then sank to his knees beside her. Beth could feel the uncomfortableness of Daryl rolling off him. “I’m not gonna disagree with ya,” Beth let out a sharp, painful laugh as Daryl continued, “We need to find some supplies, I’m almost out of bolts and we need some food. We’ll try to find a car. And then... we’ll head back, we’ll try to finds some signs... we’ll try to track the bus. We’ll figure something out. Maybe... maybe somebody’s out there.” Beth looked up at Daryl with a small smile, a bit of hope bloomed in her chest. 

-

Rick felt like he was pushing molasses around on his face. He had tried to get the blood out of his beard but it was congealed and he could still feel the stickiness. He quickly gave up, there was a stream nearby he would have to wait until then to finish cleaning his face. 

“So what’s the plan?” Michonne’s quiet voice asked, “We headin’ to Terminus?” 

Rick had been pondering this subject since Daryl had told him about Beth being ‘gone.’ He had made Daryl tell him everything about the incident and the whole situation made his cop instincts scream ‘trap!’ He didn’t blame Daryl for Beth being taken, he could see that the man was blaming himself though. “If any of our people made it to Terminus, they’re most likely safe for the time bein’, so there’s no rush. With all the railroad tracks converging there’s got to be a couple a towns around here, let’s swing by a convenience store first. Get some supplies... and a map.” Michonne and Carl looked slightly confused, they had plenty of supplies now from Joe’s group, but they trusted his lead. 

About an hour later found them outside of a gas station. They efficiently took out the few walkers around the store and two inside before Rick tasked Carl to see if there was any supplies worth taking and Michonne to see if either of the two cars out front were capable of running. Rick quickly grabbed a regional map and a phone book for the surrounding counties and spread the map out on the dirty counter. He handed the phone book to Daryl while asking, “You remember the name of that funeral home?” 

“Nah, but I know the streets it was near.” Daryl responded already flipping through the phonebook trying to track it down. Daryl seemed to sense what Rick’s plan was and it only took him a few moments to track down the funeral home. Rick meanwhile had found a pencil and marked on the map Terminus’ location as well as their current location. Daryl pointed out the funeral home on the map and Rick asked for the phonebook back and flipped to the ‘churches’ section in the yellow pages. “You said that caddy had a big cross on the back window, right?” 

Daryl nodded, “And it took off this a way.” He traced the road he had run down for miles. Rick was going on only his gut instinct as he began marking down churches on the map. All the churches in the area would have been an astronomical number so he tried to focus on small, community churches. They would be easier to defend and fortify. He had no reals facts to base his theory on, but his gut said that the funeral home was a trap, a lure of sorts, and the man driving the blue Cadillac was probably a religious fanatic living in a nearby church, one that was close by car but far on foot. Rick dimly noted Daryl moving into the aisle behind him to grab something and put it in his pack, but Rick didn’t bother to ask what he found. 

Michonne’s voice interrupted Rick’s task, “The Subaru runs, but it’s out of gas. I’m guessin’ it was abandoned here not too long ago when someone realized there was no gas. Keys were even in the glove box.” 

“There’s a couple of houses around, we can see if we can siphon some gas or somethin’.” Daryl suggested. 

Carl joined them at the counter. The place was pretty picked over already but he did find a small length of hose and an empty five gallon gas can. Daryl nodded and was about to grab the items when Carl asked, “Dad, what’re you doin’?” He nodded at the map and the stars Rick was drawing. 

“We don’t know who all escaped the prison alive. The only one we know for sure is Beth, and I think she was kidnapped. We’re going to find her.” Rick answered firmly and not looking up from his task. He had to put what was left of his family back together. 

“Do you really think she’s still alive? If this guy is anything like those other guys...” Carl trailed off with a frown. 

Rick glanced up to look his son in the eye while he replied honestly, “if we find this guy, and he is like those other guys and he did something to Beth... I’ll kill him.” Rick’s tone was resolute. His new acceptance of his monster within was showing clearly, and while he should be ashamed of his actions he just wasn’t. Men like that deserved to die. The thought of Beth being with a man like Joe, a man who raped and killed for pleasure, sent Rick into a cool rage. “I made a promise to Hershel to keep Beth safe. Now I won’t stop until I find her,” Rick vowed. 

Michonne nodded and Daryl clapped him on the back. “This’ll go a lot faster with gas. C’mon Michonne, let’s see if we can find any.” He grabbed the gas can from Carl and he and Michonne slinked out of the store. Rick turned back to the map and phonebook.

“Dad... do you like Beth?” Carl asked hesitantly. 

“‘Course I like her.” Rick answered the vague question. 

“I mean, do you like, like her? When you had that fever and couldn’t wake up, you called out my name, Judith’s name and … Beth’s.” 

Rick paused again to look at his son. Carl didn’t look angry or hurt just curious. Carl was one of the reasons Rick hadn’t wanted to make their relationship known to the group. Not only did Carl have a crush on Beth at one point, but Rick didn’t want Carl to think that he was trying to replace Lori with Beth. The only person who knew of their relationship besides Hershel was Daryl, and that was because he had told Daryl everything. Daryl didn’t judge him, he told Rick what was on his mind, and he didn’t bottle resentment in. Daryl was a refreshing change after dealing with Shane for years. Daryl had also thought the relationship with Beth would be good for Rick’s mental state, would help keep his burdens from building up until he cracked again.

But with Rick’s new outlook, his acceptance of what lengths he would go to keep his family safe, he didn’t have the desire to lie to his son. Especially when Beth meant so much to him. “Beth and I... we had started a relationship.” Rick told his son honestly. 

Carl nodded for a moment. “Okay.”

“You aren’t mad?” Risk asked curiously. Ever since Michonne had found them Carl had become much less the petulant and angry kid he had been. It was definitely refreshing for Rick. 

Carl shrugged. “Beth’s really nice, and she loves Judith. She’s made you smile a couple of times. Besides, when Mom thought you were dead she was with Shane until you came back.” 

“You knew about that?” Rick asked in surprise. 

“Not at the time... I’ve only heard gossip. I heard Carol once say that Judith looked like you and not Shane.” Carl shrugged again. “Dad I hope we find Beth.” 

Rick nodded resolutely, “we will.” Finding Sophia had been a duty to Rick, he felt responsible for the girl’s disappearance. This was different, he needed to find Beth, he had been teetering on the edge of an abyss full of guilt and self-destruction before Beth and she had made him feel again. Not just the need to live, to protect his own, but to laugh, to feel pleasure in life. He was going to find Beth, and if she was hurt in any way he would wreak vengeance. 

-

_“And the LORD will send a plague on all the nations that fought against Jerusalem. Their people will become like walking corpses, their flesh rotting away. Their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. On that day they will be terrified, stricken by the LORD with great panic. They will fight their neighbors hand to hand...”_

Beth’s hand shook as she took another bite of lukewarm beans. Gabriel was deep into his rant again. He was standing on the altar, scrubbing at the dried blood there. He liked the altar to be “pure” and Beth prayed that the blood would never lift. 

When she woke up five days ago, woozy, confused and tied up, there had been another girl with her. She had mousy brown hair and her name was Maria. Beth had been so confused, the last thing she remembered was being at a funeral home with Daryl and running away from walkers, and then the next thing she knew she woke up beside a crying girl who switched from English to Spanish unknowingly while she sobbed and prayed. 

Gabriel had loomed over her then, told her he was cleansing the world. He believed that the Rapture had occurred and he was left on Earth to kill until only the innocent were left. His ramblings were half mad, and Beth had gotten the impression that since the dead were coming back to life Gabriel was going to ‘sacrifice’ people until they stopped coming back. 

Beth had been so steadfast in her belief that there was still good people left in the world, that the Governor was the anomaly, not them. That she and Daryl would find Judith, alive and well, and she could raise her baby without Rick. And just as Daryl was starting to see her way, perhaps believe her, she was kidnapped by a fanatical psychopath. It seemed the universe was trying pretty hard to convince her she was wrong. Beth tries to start a family of her own, she loses everyone she loves. Beth tries to have hope and believe that good people still do exist, she gets unwillingly sacrificed by a madman. 

Maria had been ‘sacrificed’ two days ago. Three days before that a young man had been sacrificed, Maria had told her. They had been travelling together and had stopped at the same funeral home Beth and Daryl had stopped in. Beth’s throat constricted as she thought of Daryl. The last thing she could remember was jumping out of a window while Daryl distracted a small herd of walkers. She had no idea if he survived and was looking for her or if he had perished. 

Beth was fairly certain she could shimmy out of the rope around her wrists. It had some leeway so she could move to eat, but her ankles were bound tightly together. The spoon she was using to eat with was plastic, so she had no hope of sawing through the rope. At night Gabriel locked her in a small room off the altar, it had no windows or furniture, just grungy carpet and a pot to relieve herself in. Currently she was on the floor between the altar and the first pew eating the only food she would get that day. The church was small, with only ten pews, and the windows were all high on the wall. There was the main door at the end of the aisle and then a hallway off the side of the pews that she had never seen down, but assumed that’s where Gabriel lived.

Gabriel stopped his chanting and put down his sponge and Beth’s heart started to race as he turned his attention to her. His brown eyes had a fanatical gleam to them and he wore a black preacher outfit with the sleeves rolled up while he scrubbed. He began walking towards her and Beth tried her best not to flinch as he crouched in front of her to stroke her cheek. “So beautiful, like a doll. You will be the innocent. Once your blood spills you will not wake again. You will be the last, my beautiful doll.” 

“If--if I’m innocent, you don’t need to kill me, right?” Beth asked hesitantly. 

“But it is your blood, your innocent blood, that will end this sufferin’. Your sacrifice will save us all.” 

Beth nodded like she understood. It was better to humor him then send him into a destructive rage. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself as Gabriel stood again. She wouldn’t beg for her life like Maria did, she should spend her last night remembering all the good times from her life. Her daddy teaching her to ride a horse, her mother singing to her as a child, Maggie and Glenn’s wedding, Judith crawling to her, and Rick. Rick kissing her until she tingled in anticipation, Rick’s smile while watching Judith, Rick’s smoothed face as he rested and relaxed in her arms. She didn’t regret anything with Rick. Even though she wasn’t going to live and raise their baby she was glad she spent her life living, not just surviving. 

“Hello? Is anybody in here?” Beth’s eyes flew open as she heard a knock and women’s voice muffled through the thick, locked doors behind her. Gabriel faced the door slowly with a contemplative look on his face. “Please, I saw the car outside. If somebody is in here, please help!” Beth frowned as she listened to the voice. It sounded familiar, but the pleading tone was making it difficult to tell.

Beth watched Gabriel un-holster his gun as he walked down the aisle. “How many people are with ya?” He asked through the door. Beth was on the floor and couldn’t see above the pews so she tried to scoot into a better position to peer down the aisle. Beth took a deep breath. She wouldn’t let this crazy man kill anyone else if she could. When he opened the door she would yell and tell this poor woman to run. 

“It’s just me. I’m all alone. I was with a group but-but-- please help!” 

Gabriel began to undo the heavy duty locks, the loud noises of the locks echoed through the small church but Beth thought she heard something, perhaps a thump from the hallway off to the side. Her attention was drawn back to Gabriel as she heard the door opening and she scooted a bit more to peer around. Just as she was about to start yelling she caught sight of the woman pleading. “Michonne!” Her voice cracked, came out as a half whisper that no one heard. Panic began to fill her, this man couldn’t hurt Michonne! She threw herself into the aisle, drawing both Gabriel’s and Michonne’s attention. “Michonne! No, run! Get out of here!” But Michonne’s shock at seeing her slowed her reflexes and Gabriel had his gun trained on her before she could move. Beth noticed she didn’t have her sword or a gun. Was she really weaponless? 

“Michonne, eh?” Michonne held up her hands in compliance and Gabriel gestured for her to start walking, slowly. “You know my lovely little doll, eh?” 

Gabriel didn’t shut the door, he was concentrating on Michonne too intently, a fact Beth didn’t realize until she saw a figure dart through the open crack. Gabriel froze as a gun cocked behind him. 

“How ‘bout you lower that gun?” a very familiar voice drawled.

Gabriel burst into action then, he lunged at Michonne and fired his gun, but Michonne was anticipating his actions and had dodged into a roll down the aisle towards Beth and then Rick, Rick, pulled the trigger of his python. The bullet tore through Gabriel’s shoulder, would have been his head if he hadn’t been moving after Michonne, and he howled in pain and turned on Rick. Beth shrieked in fear but Rick sidestepped him and used his momentum against him, Rick grabbed Gabriel’s head and twisted in the opposite direction and Beth could hear the crack of his neck and Gabriel dropped like a heavy sack. 

Michonne was at her side with a knife cutting at the rope that held her bound but Beth only had eyes for Rick, Rick who bent to stab Gabriel in the head with his knife and then he was striding towards her. Michonne was asking her a question, but Beth couldn’t process anything in her shocked state of seeing Rick, Rick was alive. She felt Michonne slice through the ropes around her ankles and the second she was free she was standing and threw herself into Rick. Rick caught her and pulled her in close and told her everything was going to be okay, right in her ear and Beth realized then that she was sobbing. She tried to calm down, Rick pulled back just a few inches so he could look down at her, he pressed a quick, too quick, kiss against her lips and asked her if she was hurt, if there was anyone else. Beth took another deep breath, she had to calm down for Rick. “He-he didn’t hurt me, he was going to--it’s just him, was him. Oh God Rick, he was killing people, sacrificing them, I only saw Maria, and it was horrible.” 

“Hey, I’ve got you, it’s all right now.” And it was. Rick was alive and in her arms. 

“Beth!” Beth turned, not letting go of Rick, to see Carl with a huge smile and Daryl, crossbow raised, enter the room from the hallway. 

“It’s clear,” Daryl nodded, referring to the way they came. 

“Beth said it was only him.” Rick responded. Beth watched Carl hand Michonne her sword, it had been across his back, and Daryl didn’t lower his crossbow as he scanned the room for himself. Beth wrapped her arms tighter around Rick and let the feeling of relief wash over her. 

-

The Subaru stopped in front of a white and brick house off a dirt road, Beth could see a few other houses in the distance. The group was heading towards a place called Terminus that the others had seen signs for along the railroad tracks but Beth really didn’t care where she was going as long as it was with Rick. They had quickly cleared Gabriel’s church of supplies; he had a decent food supply but very few weapons. Rick didn’t want to stay at the church longer than necessary, Beth assumed it was on her behalf that he hustled them out quickly and had them back on the road. Michonne was in the driver’s seat while Daryl studied a map beside her. Beth wasn’t quite sitting in Rick’s lap but leaning heavily against him and his arm was curled around her shoulders. Carl sat on her other side. 

The house looked in decent condition; the others had apparently stayed at this house the previous night while they were scouting various churches in the area. They had investigated seven different churches before Gabriel’s church and Beth nearly cried at their dedication to find her, especially when they were operating only on Rick’s hunch. 

Michonne and Daryl were first out of the stopped car, they did a brief run of the perimeter while Rick and Carl approached the front door with Beth in between them. Rick made eye contact with both of them before opening the front door and sweeping into the house. Beth took a deep breath before following Rick in, she held the gun Rick had slipped to her earlier aimed at the floor. They quickly cleared the house, there were no walkers or people and Beth thankfully sank down in a chair at the kitchen table. She could hear the others moving about around her in the kitchen. Rick sat in the chair beside her and Beth gave him a small smile. She couldn’t even begin to put her gratitude into words, she hadn’t realized how terrified she was of Gabriel until he was dead. It was like her mind had shut out how terrible her situation had really been but now she was safe her mind couldn’t stop processing her days in captivity. 

Beth’s mind stopped thinking about Gabriel when Daryl set a purple and white box down in front of her at the table. Beth’s heart skipped a beat and her mind began to fill with new anxiety as the words ‘E.P.T.’ glared at her from the box. Beth felt her cheeks turning red and she could feel Michonne and Carl’s curious gazes on her. She could feel Rick stiffen beside her, she saw his hand curl into a fist and Beth couldn’t bear to look up at him. 

“You two need ta have a discussion about some thangs,” said Daryl as he stood with his arms crossed.

Beth finally looked up from the box to glance at Rick, his face was blank. She then snatched the box off the table as if when it was out of sight the others would forget they saw it. “There’s a bathroom upstairs, right?” She asked timidly. Daryl nodded in response. Beth quickly left the kitchen and made her way up the stairs. She wanted to do this as far away from the others as possible. 

Once she was in the bathroom upstairs she took a moment just to breathe. She knew that she would have to tell Rick the truth about her deceit. She wouldn’t feel right keeping that from him, not after the prison falling, daddy dying, and her time with the unstable Gabriel. Beth fumbled with the packaging of the purple box and went through the motions of the pregnancy test. 

She hopped up to sit on the counter placing the stick just out of her sight so she wouldn’t obsess for the next few minutes. Just as she resigned herself to the longest few minutes of her life a knock sounded on the door. Beth took a deep breath before telling the knocker to come in. 

Rick slipped in and closed the door softly behind him and then leaned against the door. They stared at each other in silence for a moment and Beth tried in vain to decipher the expression on Rick’s face. He looked distraught, but that couldn’t be right. “Beth,” Rick began, “I’m sorry. I should have insisted on condoms. I would never intentionally put you through this.” 

Beth could feel tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. Oh noble Rick. “This isn’t your fault,” Beth replied.

“I shoulda known better. I’ve put you in a whole new danger.” Rick took a hesitant step towards her and Beth welcomed him to stand in between her knees. He placed a hand on either side on her thighs on the counter. 

“No, Rick, I… I lied.” Beth spoke in a whisper, “I wasn’t taking the pills. I… wanted to get pregnant.” 

Rick couldn’t seem to process her words as he studied her. “What?” he croaked. 

Beth felt all her words rushing out at once in an effort to make Rick understand. “I’ve always wanted to have a family of my own, a baby of my own, and being with you and Judith was the best I had felt since before the walkers. You made me feel happy and safe and that I could actually have the family I always wanted. And I figured you’d never agree, not after… after… And the prison seemed so safe, like it would last forever, and we had Dr. Subramanian and… I’m sorry.” Beth closed her eyes when she was done. She couldn’t face Rick’s anger, or disappointment. “I know you must be angry.” 

There was a long period of silence. Beth could feel her tears start to roll down her cheeks but she didn’t dare move or try to wipe them away. After Zach’s death she told Daryl that she didn’t cry anymore, but now that’s all she seemed to do. All her emotions invoked by Rick were just so powerful she couldn’t block them out like she could with Zach.

Then Rick began to speak, “Maybe before… back at the prison, I would have been angry. Furious even. But now… I get it. I make you feel safe, you wanted to do more than just survive, you felt like you could have something you always wanted. And I would have been angry about the lies, the deceit, the danger you’re puttin’ yourself in. But… I can’t be angry. I thought I lost you, I just got you and I thought I’d lost you. I realized that with you I feel like I’m livin’. Before I was just survivin’, doing my best to keep everyone safe, keep Carl straight, give Judith a chance at life. But you make me feel like there’s still… enjoyment in this life. And there’s no point in bein’ angry about something I can’t change. I swear to you I will do my absolute best to give you what you want. I’ll keep you safe. And if this is what you want, we’ll figure out how to make this work.”

Beth couldn’t even begin to describe how Rick’s words made her feel, her sense of relief was strong, she was so glad that he wasn’t angry at her, she was amazed to hear Rick’s feelings about her, and she felt safe. Safe, in this house at the edge of a neighborhood probably full of roaming walkers, no fences between her and whatever psychopaths were wandering the streets. Here, with Rick’s arms braced on the counter around her, his sure gaze staring into her. She felt as she did when she and Rick had first kissed, with Judith scooting around and their laughter filling the air. This felt right.

Beth yanked Rick into a kiss, their teeth clacked and Beth accidentally bit Rick’s tongue but then he growled into her mouth and his hands were pulling at her clothes and Beth wiggled out of both her jeans and panties while trying to undo Rick’s belt. Their coupling was quick, hard and frenzied. Rick held her thighs open, his grip was hard and biting into her skin. Beth left several bite marks on Rick’s shoulder to keep quiet and it was exactly what Beth needed. The pain and pleasure grounded her into the moment, reassured her Rick was real. Rick’s pace became uneven and frantic as he got close and he reached a thumb to where they were joined and pressed into her clit and Beth shattered into her orgasm. 

Afterwards they clung to each other, Rick’s arms were a comforting weight around her. His arms tightened for a second before his right loosened and he grabbed something off the counter behind her. Rick’s rough voice tickled Beth’s ear as he spoke, “I will always give you what you want.” Beth shifted to see the pregnancy test in his hand. The light was dim filtering through the window in the bathroom but Beth could see the little plus sign well enough.

-


	3. Terminus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was Carol and Tyreese, and they had Judith.” Beth was practically vibrating now with adrenaline. Judith, their people, they were right there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on ff.net. Edited September 2017.
> 
> Sex, huge age difference, unbeta-ed.

**Terminus**

Beth was perched as high as she could get in a tree overlooking Terminus. From her vantage point she could see an empty field, the back of some warehouses and a lone train car. She had been watching for a couple of hours now and hadn’t seen a single person on the other side of the fence. Had Terminus been abandoned? And if it wasn’t abandoned, why weren’t they cultivating all this open land? She was sure that if Terminus was legitimate that would be Rick’s first suggestion for them. Surviving on scavenging alone couldn’t last for much longer, it would soon be two years since the world had gone to pot. 

Rick’s rhythmic digging below her stopped. She glanced over her shoulder to see Rick studying the hole he had just dug. It looked about the right size for the duffel bag full of weapons. The Subaru was parked about a dozen yards off the road which was a good half mile walk away, it still held some supplies, mostly food and miscellaneous items. Rick was being extra cautious, but the group agreed with his methods, after all they had only encountered terrible people recently starting with the revenge bent Governor, then crazy fanatic Gabriel, and the pack of awful men Rick had told her about. So they had been watching Terminus most of the morning. They arrived not long after dawn and spread out to try and get a feel for the place. Michonne and Carl were about fifty yards to her right and Daryl about the same to her left but she couldn’t see any of them. Rick had suggested she climb the tree to get a better viewpoint but Beth had a feeling Rick was feeling extra protective over her. She was a decent fighter and an okay shot but out of the five of them she was the weakest.

Beth was about to call down to Rick now that he was almost done hiding their extra weapons when she finally heard something. It sounded like several people moving quickly and moments later four people came jogging into view on their side of the fence. Beth’s heart rate skyrocketed and she froze. “Spread out along here, about five feet between everyone.” One of the people, a man in his early thirties, spoke. The others nodded and took the rifles they had slung across their backs and pointed the weapons towards Terminus. Beth chanced a quick glance around for Rick, the hole he had dug was roughly fifteen feet behind her and the ground sloped down from the fence and he was crouched in the hole aiming his Python at the new arrivals. They clearly weren’t looking for them, or even aware that there might be people out in the woods. Were they part of Terminus? And if so, why did they have their guns pointed at Terminus?

Beth sat tense for about five minutes before she heard voices coming from Terminus. She couldn’t make out what was being shouted by soon she saw two people walking with their hands up with three people surrounding them with weapons, she also saw four more people moving along the roofs of the warehouses with rifles aimed on the two. She studied the two figures, they were quite a distance away but she could tell it was a black man and a white woman, the woman had short, cropped hair… Carol? Beth bit on her cheek to keep from making a noise as she identified Carol and Tyreese. And then Tyreese shifted and turned and she could see a baby strapped to his back. A baby. There was only one child that young from the prison. She started shaking, pressed further into the tree to keep herself from revealing herself. It had to be Judith. She watched as Carol and Tyreese looked around. They clearly saw the people at the fence that were not far from Beth but Beth remained hidden by the leaves of the tree. Carol and Tyreese were ushered to the lone train car and then they were out of sight. Another few minutes passed and the same man that spoke before spoke again, “I like it when it’s easy.”

“Was that a baby with them? How did they survive out there for so long with a baby?” A new voice spoke up. The four people, three men and a woman, began to shift and walk along the fence.

“I don’ know but did you see the size of that black guy? He could keep us fed for a week alone!” A third voice laughed. The small group was soon out of sight but Beth didn’t dare move. In Terminus, she could still see the people on the roof but no one else. 

She stayed for what felt like hours, tense and on the edge of panic before Rick whispered up at her, “Beth, c’mon on down. It’s clear.”

Beth nodded at Rick and began to slowly descend. Her muscles were cramped from holding her position too long so it took a bit longer to reach the ground. Rick pulled her into his arms as soon as she hit the ground and Beth started to shake again. “Rick, did you see? Did you see?” Beth asked in a frantic whisper.

“I couldn’t see anythin’ besides those four people. What the hell happened?”

“It was Carol and Tyreese, and they had Judith.” Beth was practically vibrating now with adrenaline. Judith, their people, they were right there!

“What?” Rick’s voice was a bit loud but Beth just nodded frantically. “I saw her. It had to be her. I know that was Carol and Tyreese and Judith is the only baby that could have been.”

“I thought the same thing.” Daryl’s voice interrupted them. He had approached them soundlessly, of course, and had his crossbow in a ready position. “That was fer sure Carol and Tyreese.”

“Rick, we gotta go save them, we have to get Judith.” Beth’s voice was raising and Rick began to try to calm her down. 

“Beth, you’ve got to calm down. We can’t just go stormin’ in there with guns blazin’. They clearly have numbers and weapons on their side. We’ve got to do this right. We’re not losing anyone else.” Beth nodded. Of course Rick was right. They had to make a plan and do this precisely; no harm could come to Judith.

Once Rick was sure Beth was calming down he let her go to grab the duffel. “We need to get Michonne and Carl then we retreat a bit and make a plan. Okay?” Both Beth and Daryl nodded.

Michonne and Carl had been coming their way, they had also seen everything go down and Carl was bursting with energy to also go after Judith but Michonne talked him down.

Rick and Daryl decided an attack at night would be their best bet, one of the items pilfered from Gabriel’s church was a pair of heavy duty wire cutters so they planned to cut a hole in the fence. They also had an axe, hopefully that would be able to get through whatever locked the train car. They needed a distraction though, so after grabbing the items from the Subaru Daryl went off hunting. For walkers. The plan was to lure walkers to the front of Terminus, and hopefully while Terminus was dealing with the walker threat they would sneak in the back and free their people. It was a shaky plan, lots of room for things to go wrong, but they had to move fast. Not only did those people have Judith but they were possibly cannibals. What else did they mean about Tyreese keeping them fed for a week?

Nightfall seemed to take forever. Michonne, Rick, Carl and Beth were hiding in the brush by the fence and they still didn’t see much life in this part of Terminus besides an occasional patrol on the roof. They never saw anyone on patrol around the fence, which they were grateful for. The sun was just starting to set when Daryl returned. Similar to Rick’s moves with the piglets back at the prison, Daryl lured about ten walkers to the front of Terminus using a couple of injured rabbits. He didn’t think he had been seen as the front was eerily vacant and he had thrown the unguarded gates wide open for the walkers. 

They moved as soon as the gunfire sounded in the distance. Michonne cut the fence as the others slipped through. Beth was carrying two guns for Carol and Tyreese, the plan was to hand Judith off to Beth as Carol and Tyreese were better shots than she was and she was fine with that. They quickly and quietly ran across the field, Terminus had a few lights in the back area but none out in the field and they couldn’t make out any figures on the roof. The group made it to the train car without any problems. 

They stayed on the opposite side of the door for now facing away from Terminus. Rick knocked on the side to get Carol or Tyreese’s attention and called out quietly, “Carol? Tyreese?” Immediately they heard voices start inside and then a clear voice called back, “Rick?!” But it wasn’t Carol or Tyreese. 

“Glenn?” Rick’s tone was full of surprise, shock was written on all of their faces as they glanced at each other. 

“Oh God, Rick! Yeah, it’s me!” Glenn called back.

“How many of you are in there?” 

“There’s ten of us, eleven counting Judith.” Beth let out a tiny sob of joy. Ten survivors of the prison? That was far better than even she dared to hope.

“We only brought a few extra guns, we’re gonna get you out of here. Just hold on.” Rick quickly led them around to the side with the door. Rick unstrapped the axe from his back and nodded at Michonne and Daryl who then moved away to be look outs. There was only a padlock on the door, the people of Terminus probably never imagined the imprisoned people would have outside help for escaping, and after three swings of the axe the padlock clattered to the ground. The sound of the axe on the train car was extremely loud, and they tried to move as quickly as possible. Carl and Beth yanked on the sliding door as hard as they could. 

Glenn was the first one out, he gave Rick a huge hug which Rick gladly returned. 

Beth was impatient. They were so close, she wanted Judith now. “Carol, Tyreese, give Judith to me.” She called into the car, she could see figures but it was too dark, and a different voice responded. “Beth? Bethy?” And in the next instant Maggie was bounding down the steps to hug her little sister. 

“What the hell?” A voice came through the darkness and Beth saw a man running towards them from one of the warehouses. A bolt was quickly sprouting from his eye and Daryl glared back at them. “This ain’t no time for a touching family reunion, we gotta move people.” He hissed at them. 

Others were now coming out of the train car: Sasha, Bob, Tyreese, four people Beth didn’t recognize but she didn’t care because Carol was stepping down with Judith on her hip, and Beth was on them in an instant practically ripping Judith away from her. Carol let the baby go and Beth thrust a gun at her in trade. Judith recognized her, began babbling ‘baba’ over and over and Beth kissed the top of her head. Carl patted Judith’s back, he was sporting a huge grin. Rick was then ushering them back into the field and Daryl cursed as he shot another Terminus lookout and then they were all running back to the fence. 

Carl and Michonne were the first to the fence and they both started yanking to make the hole bigger as the group hurried through the opening. Daryl went through last and soon they were all gathered a few feet past the fence, and they paused to take stock of the situation. 

“Rick, how are you even alive? You were right there at the fence with the tank and the Governor, and his army.” Sasha shook her head in amazement. 

Rick shrugged, “I barely did. I attacked the Governor, we fought, and he would have won if Michonne hadn’t killed him.” 

“Rick, we have to go back. There are other people trapped back there.” Glenn spoke breathlessly. 

“What? How do ya know?” Rick hissed back. Beth stood in between Rick and Carl, and the rest formed a loose circle around them. 

“We heard them,” Maggie spoke up, “There’s a shipping container further in, and we heard people crying for help from it back when we first arrived.”

“So we’re gonna risk our necks for people you ain’t even seen?” Daryl scoffed. 

“These people are monsters, they’re gonna eat ‘em.” Glenn argued back. He seemed shocked that there was any hesitation on the matter.

“Rick, we could use additional supplies, the car we have ain’t gonna fit all of us.” Michonne pointed out. 

“Do you know the layout? Did any of you see vehicles? Or how about how many of them are there? How well armed? Earlier today all the people we saw were sportin’ high powered, automatic rifles. What about this isn’t suicide?” Risk pointed out sternly. Daryl nodded in agreement. 

“These people are broadcastin’, this is the place we heard on the radio, they’ve got signs all over advertisin’, we have to stop this before more innocent people die.” Tyreese spoke up firmly. 

Rick let out a frustrated sigh and glanced around the group. “We don’t know what we’re walking into here, this is dangerous.” 

“There’s a weird room full of candles that we went through, with creepy writin’ on the walls, we could sneak in there, and set this whole place on fire.” Bob spoke up. “While they’re dealing with the fire, we free those people and steal whatever we can, hopefully a couple of vehicles. They have to have somethin’, they are maintaining those route signs somehow. 

“I want to help get supplies and kill some of these sons o’ bitches, but we can’t all go. Rosita and Tara can stay here with Eugene and these kids and we go raise sum hell.” One of the newcomers spoke, he had red hair and a fierce mustache. 

“It could work,” Daryl mumbled to Rick and Rick nodded. Beth felt a stab of panic, she did not want to lose anybody and since the church she hadn’t been without Rick for more than a moment. She was safe with Rick, safe. 

Rick looked at Glenn and Maggie hard before asking, “You trust these people? You trust ‘em with Beth and Judith?” 

“They saved my life, Rick,” Glenn responded with a sure expression on his face. 

Maggie nodded in agreement, “They didn’t have to help us, they could have left but they helped us back on the tracks.”

“Alright. I trust your judgment. We do this. We cut into the fence as close as we can get to this place Bob mentioned. Carl, I want you to take Beth, Judith, and these others back to the car. Get the car back to the road and wait for us, keep the lights off, we don’t want any attention drawn to ya.” 

“Dad I should come with you, you know I’m good.” Carl argued.

Rick placed a hand on Carl’s shoulder before replying, “Carl you’re a good shot, and that’s why I want you with Beth and Judith. We just got Judy back, we’re not letting her out of our sight again, right?”

Carl nodded, “right.”

Beth felt her panic rising, she couldn’t leave Rick, “Rick no, please—“ Rick turned to her and pulled her into a hug. “Beth, take some deep breaths for me. It’s gonna be okay. Your sister trusts these people. Nobody is gonna hurt ya. I need you to be strong for Judith, okay?”

“But what about you? I just got you back, I can’t lose you again!” Beth felt tears streaking down her cheeks and Rick cupped her face and wiped them away with his thumb. 

“I’m coming back to you, and Carl, and Judith. No matter what.” Rick’s tone was resolute. And despite the uncertainty of the situation, the number of times things went wrong for their group, Beth believed him. She nodded reluctantly, “Okay.” Rick placed a soft kiss on her lips and then Carl was leading her off. Beth saw Maggie giving her a strange look and it dawned on her that the others didn’t know about her and Rick. Daryl, Michonne and Carl had all had known about their relationship since before they found Beth and seemed okay with it. In reality, the prison and their hidden relationship was only about two weeks ago but it seemed like a lifetime had passed. 

The small group of six was quiet as they followed Carl in the dark. But after a while Judith began to babble. She seemed truly happy to be back with Beth, and Beth shared the sentiment. “Bababa,” Judith babbled happily. “That’s right Juju, Beth is right here. I missed you so much,” Beth whispered back to her. Judith smiled and tugged happily on Beth’s messy blonde ponytail. 

“I’m Tara,” one of the new girls walking alongside Beth introduced herself. “And that’s Rosita and Eugene.” She gestured to the two people behind her, Rosita was very pretty while Eugene looked awkward and sported a mullet. 

“Beth. I’m Maggie’s sister. And that’s Carl and I guess you already met Judith.” Beth nodded back. She noticed a sad expression flit across Tara’s face at the mention of Maggie but Beth didn’t question her about it. 

“How did you guys know? About all of us in the train car?” Rosita spoke up. 

“We were investigatin’ Terminus, we’ve had some… back luck with people we’ve met so far, so we were observin’ to see what kinda of people was there. We saw Carol and Tyreese with Judith bein’ led into that car at gunpoint. We had no idea the rest of you were there.” Beth responded. 

“That’s smart, good tactics. Too bad Abraham didn’t think of that.” Eugene commented. His voice was monotone and he spoke quickly, Beth thought it was odd. 

“Well, we’re mighty grateful. We were in that car for two days. They were feeding us powered milk.” Rosita shuddered. “Fattening us up, probably.” 

“Walkers.” Carl interrupted the conversation and pointed forwards to two unaware walkers. They were in between the group and the car, Beth could see moonlight glinting off the green Outback.

Rosita aimed the gun, Rick had given it to her as they were splitting up, but Carl stepped in front of her. “The gun is too loud. If there’s more they’ll be on us. You two knock ‘em to the ground, I’ll stab them in the head.” Carl drew out his knife and Rosita picked up a sturdy branch from the ground. Tara did the same. They took out the walkers efficiently and soon they were all gathered around the car. 

Beth didn’t want to let go of Judith, but she also didn’t want to let one of these strangers drive. What if they tried to drive off without Rick? “Carl, take Judith.” And Carl seemed to see the dilemma and didn’t complain. Beth slid into the driver’s side, Carl with Judith, Eugene and Rosita all got in the back and Tara took shotgun. 

Beth drove back to the road, she didn’t dare turn on the headlights and drove excruciatingly slow but soon she was driving through the ditch and onto pavement. She didn’t tell anyone about her lack of driving skills, she’d only gotten her learners’ permit by the time the dead started walking and at the prison she had only learned the basics. The others didn’t comment though so she figured she did all right. She parked in the shoulder, facing away from Terminus, and turned off the car. 

“We should have a lookout,” Rosita broke the silence. “I’ll take first watch.” No one argued with her and so she left the car. Beth watched her walk around the car twice before settling on the back bumper facing the direction of Terminus. The car was quiet, Judith had her eyes closed and looked to be asleep, Carl was peering into the trees around them, Eugene was staring straight ahead, like a robot, and Tara watched their surroundings as well. Beth nervously drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and kept scanning the trees around them and glancing at the clock in the dashboard. She knew the time wasn’t accurate, but it ticked away the minutes regardless. There didn’t seem to be many walkers in the area, she wondered if the Terminus people patrolled the woods regularly to root out walkers. 

Beth nearly jumped out of her seat when Rosita tapped on her window. Beth opened the door and got out to see what was going on. “I think the plan must’ve worked.” Rosita gestured and a glow was on the horizon. It wasn’t to the east, so she knew it wasn’t the sun, so the others must have set the place on fire. 

“Oh,” Beth exhaled and then ducked her head back into the car, “it looks like they did set the place on fire.” And the others started craning around to see. Beth and Rosita stood together staring intently down the road. Beth felt her hysteria rising again and her hands started shaking. Rick is coming back to us, he promised, she mentally told herself. Rick is the luckiest man alive when it comes to survivin’, he’s going to make it. She then focused on her breathing. She tried to make each breath last five seconds in and five seconds out and it seemed to work. 

Then they heard a motor. It was loud, and if Beth didn’t know better, it sounded like a motorcycle. “Daryl, it’s gotta be Daryl.” Beth whispered. Regardless, Rosita made everyone get out of the car and hide off to the side that faced the trees. Judith cried a bit at being jostled and Beth took her out of Carl’s arms to soothe her. Beth couldn’t see the road coming from Terminus, but she did see the light of the headlight and she could hear the bike come to a stop. “Beth, Carl.” Daryl’s voice called and Beth popped up in relief to see Daryl straddling another motorcycle. Leave it to Daryl to find another bike. 

“Where’s my dad?” Carl beat Beth to asking about the others. Beth wondered why she was more concerned over Rick than Maggie, Maggie was her sister and only surviving family but the heart squeezing fear she felt was only for Rick’s safety. 

“I rode ahead tah make sure you guys made it.” Daryl let the bike die and kicked out the kickstand. “It shouldn’t be long.” And then Daryl was beside Beth peering at Judith. “How’s lil’ Asskicker doin’?” 

“Da ra!” Judith happily waved her arms at Daryl, and Beth handed her over to Daryl and he pressed a kiss to Judith’s head. 

“Rick’s fine? The others too?” Beth asked. She noticed Daryl hadn’t answered, but then he didn’t need to as another motor could be heard and soon more headlights were swinging into view. 

Two trucks stopped in the middle of the road, one Dodge and one Chevy, the Chevy had an extended cab and was the vehicle Rick exited. Beth went to him an instant later and Rick pulled her into his side as they all gathered between the vehicles. Carl came to Rick’s other side and he pulled his son into a one armed hug. Carl then left to check on Michonne. Beth left his side only long enough to take Judith back from Daryl and was firmly back beside him as he began to speak. “Right, so we need a place to stay for the night, suggestions?” 

“The house we stayed in last night, it was only about an hour’s drive from here.” Said Michonne.

“We should head further out. We need to head towards Washington DC,” the redhead, Beth assumed this was Abraham, spoke. 

“So you mentioned. We aren’t makin’ any big decisions tonight. We need to find a place to rest up and then we can talk it all over in the mornin’.” 

-

The house seemed so spacious to Maggie who had been locked up in a cramped, dark train car for the past couple of days. Even though it was well after midnight she could see just fine, the moon was bright and there were plenty of windows letting in moonlight. The house didn’t seem like a good place to stay, at least long-term, it wasn’t very defensible. 

Maggie had just gotten off watch with Abraham and Glenn. The Terminus prisoners had agreed to take watch that night as thank you to Michonne, Rick and Daryl for not only freeing them but also taking down Terminus and now Tyreese, Sasha and Rosita were on watch. Rick, Daryl and Michonne hadn’t hesitated in striking down the ‘Termites’ (as Glenn called them) they had run across. Terminus had been on alert when they snuck back in, apparently Daryl’s distraction using walkers while they were freed put the Termites on guard but Rick and the others had been ruthless in taking out anyone they ran across. Rick had then freed the people in the shipping container with his axe, and had told the people inside to take what they could and run. None of them had asked to go with their group; they were all probably suspicious of new people, after all Terminus had given everyone a warm welcome. Bob went through his plan of setting one of the warehouses on fire and Terminus did not handle the chaos of fire, freed prisoners and looting well. Most of them were probably alive, and Maggie sure didn’t want to leave a trail for them to follow for vengeance. 

Maggie wanted to poke around for her sister, she knew that Beth was most likely sleeping but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with Beth. Beth had hardly spoken to her, and besides the initial hug outside of the train car she hadn’t touched her. Beth was constantly with Rick, practically glued to his side and seemed prone to panic. Something must have happened, this didn’t seem like a natural reaction to losing their father, this seemed… more traumatic. 

The group hadn’t had a chance to talk to find out what had happened to everyone yet, once they had reached the house Abraham had launched into his case on travelling to Washington DC while Rick looked on coolly. Rick had refused to make a decision yet, he wanted the group to discuss it but first he wanted them to get a bit of rest and think on their options. So everyone had gone to find a place to crash while Glenn, Maggie and Abraham volunteered first watch. Carol was on one of the couches on the first floor, Tyreese had been on another until he had gotten up for watch. Glenn claimed the bed Sasha had vacated in one of the three bedrooms on the second floor, Bob was already curled up on top of a bunch of clothes from the closet on the floor and Glenn had immediately collapsed on the twin bed but Maggie said she wanted to check on Beth, so here she was peeping into the other rooms. 

All the doors had been left open in case an alarm needed to be raised everyone would be able to hear a yell from downstairs so it was easy for her to peek into the rooms. The one right next to theirs had Eugene on the bed, Tara curled in a chair, and Abraham making a nest similar to Bob’s on the floor. The last room, the master bedroom, was where she found her sister. She first saw Daryl and Michonne on the floor, they had found an air mattress and had blown it up and it was big enough that they weren’t touching, Michonne was curled into a ball facing the door and Daryl was on his back. Both of them cracked open an eye and closed it when they saw it was just Maggie peeking in. Beth was on the king sized bed, with Rick and Carl and Judith was sleeping in a laundry basket on the floor between the bed and Daryl. Maggie frowned as she took in her sister’s sleeping pose. Carl was on one edge of the bed Rick on the other and Beth in the middle. The bed was easily roomy enough for the three of them but Beth was half lying on Rick, her head on his chest and one of Rick’s arms was around her waist. 

Maggie thought back to the quick kiss Rick had given her sister, at the time it seemed like he did it to calm her down, it wasn’t sexual. Now though… their pose could be taken as platonic or something else. Beth had a hand clutched in Rick’s shirt and Maggie again thought that her sister might have been through something and was now latching on to Rick for comfort, was it because he could be seen as a father figure? Rick and Hershel had been close. Could it have anything to do with the crush that everyone knew Beth had on Rick? But surely Rick wouldn’t do anything with Beth, she was so young. Granted, Beth had been forced to grow up quick, she never got to have a rebellious teenage run like Maggie did, she looked after Judith like she was her own even though there were plenty of helping hands for Judith after the Woodbury people joined the prison. Maggie left the doorway quietly to head back to Glenn, one way or another she was going to talk with her sister and find out what happened.

-

They were clearing the houses in the neighborhood for supplies, ‘neighborhood’ was a loose term as the houses were decently spread out and this was not a typical suburban spread. Despite some initial resistance from newer members to the group they followed Rick’s method, everyone goes together and stays together. The group hadn’t had a single casualty using this method for the seven months in between the farm and the prison, not even when Lori was late into her pregnancy and could only waddle. Beth had Judith strapped to her back. Tyreese had offered to carry her, it seemed that he had really bonded with the adorable child, but Beth couldn’t bear to part with her, not yet. All the recent events were still too fresh in her mind despite, miraculously, everyone she loved was still alive after being attacked and separated. 

They had all agreed to travel with Abraham and his crew north towards Washington D.C. Rick, Daryl and Michonne had all agreed early that morning, while Beth was still half asleep, that Georgia didn’t hold anything for them anymore besides ghosts and bad memories. But they agreed that if they found something better along the way to D.C. they would leave Abraham’s quest. Abraham seemed to think that was better than nothing and didn’t argue. Abraham also agreed with Rick that they should clear the neighborhood for supplies for the long journey, especially since they didn’t have much gas for the vehicles they acquired. 

The group was loosely spread out in the road on their way to the next house. They had already hit two houses and everyone was carrying a pack. Rick and Daryl had the lead, Abraham and his crew were right behind them. Beth walked beside Maggie, Glenn was on Maggie’s left side, Carl and Michonne on Beth’s right. Tyreese, Bob, Carol and Sasha were behind them. 

“…And that’s how we got to Terminus,” Maggie finished telling Beth their tale, her frantic hunt of Glenn with Bob and Sasha, the bus, running into Abraham. Beth admired how tough Maggie was and how she didn’t let Bob and Sasha talk her out of her hunt for Glenn. “Beth… you seem different from before. Did something happen? You were with the strongest members of our group but you seem… jumpy.” Maggie looked fretful, maybe she regretted not worrying over her sister more. 

Beth took a deep breath, she was fairly sure she could tell her story calmly now. She stared at Rick’s back mentally drawing strength from him, she was safe with Rick. She knew some of the others would probably hear but they would find out eventually. The smaller a group was the harder it was to keep a secret. “We weren’t together the whole time, only the two days before we got to Terminus. Back at the prison… I was searchin’ for Judith, couldn’t find her anywhere, and soon I couldn’t find anyone. I found Daryl blowin’ up the tank and we ran for it. We were on the run for a few days, could hardly catch a break until… we found a place. A funeral home. Except… it was a trap. This guy, Gabriel, he lured people there and then took ‘em. He used his dog to set walkers around the place and Daryl and I got separated and… he took me. Daryl saw the car, chased after us but lost us. He ran into a group of guys instead, and he went with them after he lost my trail. They then ran into Rick, Michonne and Carl and… Daryl joined back up with Rick. They then went looking for me, Rick tracked down Gabriel’s church, he was a religious fanatic thinking we were all being punished by God. They saved me and then we headed for Terminus.” 

Maggie looked completely shocked, she grabbed onto Beth’s arm tightly while they kept walking, asking, “Did that man touch you? Did he do anythin’ to you?” 

“No, he didn’t do anything like that,” Beth didn’t want to say rape, she knew Glenn, Carl and Michonne were listening to their conversation and wasn’t sure about the others, but rape was one of those words that drew people’s attention. “He was convinced that he had to sacrifice people until people stopped turnin’ into walkers. He was only killin’, not doing anything worse. He’s dead now.” Beth didn’t feel an urgent need to run to Rick and burrow into his side after telling her tale so she was proud of herself. 

“Is that how Daryl got beat up? Gettin’ you away from this Gabriel guy?” Maggie asked. Daryl’s bruises on his face were yellowed out and healing but still noticeable. Luckily Carl’s scratched face was mostly healed. 

“Uh… no. The group of men Daryl was with… they were real bad guys.” Beth said delicately. 

“They’re dead too.” Carl spoke up. He and Beth shared a look before they both glanced at Maggie. 

“Oh Beth, I’m sorry, I should have been lookin’ for you.” 

Beth shook her head, “Maggie, its fine. It all worked out. Rick… well, Rick saved everybody, not just you guys.” 

“So that’s what this is? You’re just attached to Rick ‘cause he saved your life?” 

“What do you mean?” Beth asked. 

“You’re always near Rick, and when you aren’t you look all anxious until you’re with him again. It’s ‘cause he saved your life.” Maggie nodded, she looked satisfied that she learned the truth. 

“Well… that’s part of it, sure.” 

“What do you mean, ‘part of it?’” 

“After… after Zach died… um,” Beth stopped talking to take a deep breath. She just knew Maggie was going to freak out. “Rick and I started a relationship.” 

She could feel Carl and Michonne’s curious gazes, they didn’t know the details of their relationship. Glenn looked startled. Maggie’s face went blank. “You… and Rick?” 

Beth could see out of the corner of her eye Carol looking right at her, frowning. “Now before you get all judgmental I want you to remember how your relationship with Glenn started. You were bored.” Beth went on the attack before Maggie could, “And now you two have a normal, loving relationship.” Beth could tell that Tara and Rosita were now paying attention to them as well, they both glanced over their shoulders looking curious. 

“So how did yours begin? Rick liked seein’ you take care of Judith so he took you to bed? Yes, Glenn and I have a normal relationship. It helps that Glenn isn’t twenty years older than me, doesn’t have two kids, and hasn’t suffered a severe mental break.” Maggie hissed. “Thank God I got you those pills, the last thing we need is another little Grimes running around.” 

Beth knew her sister would be angry, but her anger seemed excessive. “First of all, Rick likes me because he feels happy with me. Second, I took him to bed. And third… I stopped taking the pills.” 

Maggie finally stopped walking to face her sister properly, her face was livid, “You better mean that you stopped taking the pills since you left the prison.” 

Beth stopped too, as did most of the group. Poor Daryl and Rick were the only ones oblivious to the storm brewing between the sisters as they were the furthest away. That quickly changed after Maggie reacted to Beth’s news, “You’re pregnant? On purpose?” Rick and Daryl stopped short and noticed the rest of the group was gathered loosely around the two girls now blatantly watching the fight. Glenn had a hand on Maggie’s shoulder trying to get her to calm down and Beth was staring resolutely back at her sister. 

Rick moved to head back but Daryl stopped him. “I think you want to stay out of that. We’ll take care of them,” Daryl nodded to three walkers off to the side that were ambling slowly in their direction. Rick nodded and followed Daryl. 

“I didn’t think you could get any stupider than the time you slit your wrists but wow, was I wrong. Daddy would be so ashamed of you.” 

Beth saw red and replied angrily, “That’s funny, ‘cause Daddy told Rick to keep me happy and safe when he found out about us.” 

“There’s no way that’s true—“ 

“It is, Daddy knew, he didn’t like it but he accepted us. Daddy knew that I’m not afraid of livin’ like you are, that I actually want to live my life and not just survive. And that to me means having a family. A family that cares about me. If it weren’t for Rick, if I was depending on you to look after me, well, I’d be bleeding out after a madman cut open my chest and strung me up on a cross!” Beth finished at a near yell and Maggie looked sick. The group all looked on stunned into silence. 

In the silence in wake of her words the only noise was a thunk and snarl. The others then noticed Rick finishing off a walker while Daryl was pulling a bolt out of another walker’s skull. Beth glared at her sister one last time before stomping out of the gawking group towards Rick. She was so angry and felt tears building up in her eyes but didn’t want to let them fall, to let the others see her cry. “Can we go back?” She asked quietly once she was beside him. 

Rick and Daryl exchanged one of their looks and Daryl nodded, “I got this.” 

“Carl, you got Daryl’s back?” Rick called. 

Carl nodded enthusiastically and was happy to be seen as contributing to the group. Michonne also nodded at Rick and then Rick had a hand on Beth’s upper arm leading her back the way they came. No one came after them and Beth heard Daryl telling the others to keep moving. Beth had honestly forgotten she had Judith strapped to her back until Judith started babbling at Rick. 

Beth held herself together until they were back in the house. As soon as Rick shut the door behind her she sank to her knees and let out a sob. Rick first unstrapped Judith from Beth’s back and then gathered Beth into his other arm. Judith, responding to Beth’s emotions, also started crying and Rick sat for a few moments rocking both of his girls. Beth calmed down first and pulled Judith into her arms to help her settle down and Rick urged Beth to stand up and moved them to one of the nearby couches. Judith quickly nodded off in Beth’s arms after she stopped crying and Beth gently placed her on the floor on a blanket Rick spread out. Rick then pulled her back into his arms and pressed soft kisses into Beth’s temple and hair and Beth wrapped her arms around him in response. “Rick, am I disappointing my father?” Beth asked quietly. 

Rick pulled away to study Beth before responding, “Beth, your father wanted you and your sister to live your lives. Hershel said the only thing you can choose in this life is what you’re risking your life for. Hershel… he wouldn’t be happy, but he wouldn’t be disappointed, he would never be disappointed in you living your life.” Rick’s voice was soothing and Beth felt herself calm down even more. He was right. Her father believed firmly in risking his life for what he believed in, and that’s what Beth was doing now. She was risking her life for having a family, for her and Rick’s happiness. It didn’t matter what happened from then on as long as she was with Rick. And she felt at peace. It didn’t matter if Maggie was upset with her, Beth was living her life how she wanted and she was happy, here with Rick. 

-

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday I'd like to take on Season 5. I actually have it mapped out and bits written *shrugs* maybe one day.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally uploading to AO3, hoping to get inspiration to finish Rabbit Heart.


End file.
